St. Monica and St. Augustine: Praying for Loved Ones Who Wander

Many of us carry quiet heartaches—children who have drifted from the faith, spouses who are indifferent to God, friends who seem lost in the noise of the world. We pray. We wait. We wonder if it matters.

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Like in so many moments of our life, we can turn to the example of the saints to know firstly that we are not alone in our experiences, but also that there is always hope; no one is ever too far lost. 

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One of the most powerful stories we have in the Church that exemplifies persistence in prayer and radical conversion of heart is that of St. Monica and St. Augustine.

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St. Monica was a Christian woman in the 4th century with a deep, abiding love for God and for her family. But her life wasn’t easy. Her husband was pagan, often angry, and resistant to her faith, while her son, Augustine, rejected the faith of his childhood, chasing after worldly pleasures and false philosophies.

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Monica prayed for Augustine’s conversion for many years. She followed him from North Africa to Italy, pleaded with priests to speak to him, and wept countless tears for his soul.

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When she once asked a bishop to intervene, he famously told her: At present the heart of the young man is too stubborn, but God's time will come. It is not possible that the son of so many tears should perish."

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Augustine eventually experienced a profound conversion of heart and was baptized at the age of 32 by St. Ambrose. He went on to become one of the Church’s greatest theologians, a Doctor of the Church, and a witness to God’s incredible mercy.

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The Power of Patient Prayer

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The story of Sts. Monica and Augustine reminds us that God often works in hidden, mysterious ways. Augustine’s transformation didn’t happen overnight—he wrestled with truth, resisted grace, and wandered far. Yet through it all, Monica remained faithful. 

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Her steady, trusting prayer became a quiet force of love that shaped not only her son’s conversion, but the entire Church. 

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If you have been praying for your loved ones to come (or perhaps come back) to the faith, this story offers a lot of wisdom and comfort for you. 

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As we see with St. Augustine, no one is ever beyond God’s reach. However, as we learn from Monica, you cannot force anyone to love and accept Christ. 

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You can (and should) join her in the holy work of intercession for your loved ones but you must humbly and totally surrender to them to the will and care of the Father who loves them more than you ever could. 

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How to Pray for the Conversion of a Loved One:

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Persevere

Don’t give up, even when there are no signs of change. Conversion often happens beneath the surface, in quiet, interior ways that take time. Continue to pray daily, even when your heart feels tired or discouraged. Every prayer is heard. God is always at work, even in the silence.

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Fast and intercede

Offer small sacrifices throughout your day—whether it’s giving up your favorite drink, taking on an extra chore, or bearing a frustration without complaint—for your loved one’s return to God. Uniting your sufferings to Christ’s gives them redemptive power. These hidden offerings become seeds of grace planted in the soul you are praying for.

Entrust them to Mary

Our Blessed Mother is tender, merciful, and relentless in her motherly care. She loves your loved one more than you do and desires to lead him/her to her Son. Entrust your loved one to her Immaculate Heart each day, asking her to guide them gently home and to whisper your prayers in the ear of her Son.

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Ask for St. Monica’s intercession

Turn to St. Monica, not only as a model of perseverance but as a true intercessor. She knows your grief, your tears, your longing. Invite her to pray with you and for you. Ask her to walk beside your loved one and to storm Heaven until their heart is softened by grace.

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Trust in the Goodness of the Lord

It can be tempting to pray from a place of fear or desperation—but God invites you to pray from a place of love and trust. He desires your loved one’s salvation even more than you do. Trust that He is pursuing them, even now. Let your prayers be filled with hope, confident that the Lord is good, merciful, and faithful to complete the good work He has begun.

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